A View on Buddhism

[Rich999]

Sorry Unkempt! I completely missed your original point about low self esteem and feeling powerless!

Your low self esteem may come from your feeling of powerlessness. But here is your first realisation! It's to the contrary, you have all the power! For only you have the power over yourself! Only you are responsible for yourself, no one and nothing else. So therefore, you have all the power you need! You just have to realise it and learn to use it!

I hope you can start now!

Rich
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"Everything you say and do is like a pebble thrown into a pond and you have no control over the rippling effect it has on others!" - Tim Blake

[WuMing426]

Well, Lisa, here's my idea of failing: when the day gets long, and people are rude, and ignorant, and arrogant, and just really irritating the crap out of me, I need to be able to keep my focus on thinking compassionately toward them. It was fine, Monday and Tuesday, and then Wednesday. . . .
My mouth says "thank you, and have a nice day," and my head translates that into "F*** you and get out!" And really, in my job, with a large portion of the customers, there is no better place to practice tolerance and kindness and all those nice -nesses. Yet my resolve crumbles within an 8 hour day.
In the 'win' column, I have managed to restart my morning prostrations and Refuge prayers. That's a good start to getting my practice going again.
So, in the lingo of my previous employer, some wins and opportunities, both.
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A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[beginners mind]

[beginners mind]

[unkempt]

[unkempt]

For WuMing426 on stemming negative thoughts:

I don't know what you do exactly, but since you communicate with clients, it is to a certain extent similar to what I do when I interpret (and teach). My experience is that a lot of my negative feelings and frustration in my activities is originated by communication SPEED.

It happens that my clients start to talk so quickly that I simply cannot keep up, and the same applies to students, when three of them talk to me at the same time, it can really put me on edge. And if this happens, and if I am of the presence of mind to realize it happens, I found out that what really helps is to SLOW DOWN. As far as I understand it, it is as if mindful communication required more "brain bandwidth", which logically translates into lower speed. As soon as a certain speed threshold is crossed, you lose your mindfulness/compassion/etc.
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Not Yet There

[WuMing426]

A lot of good points, Lisa. I don't really feel that I have to be nice all the time, but in a professional capacity, I do have to provide polite customer service. After so long in retail, you kind of put that on, as part of your clothing for the day. It has become second nature to 'please' and 'thank you, have a good day' at every transaction. It's just part of the job. While I don't really believe that I'm any better than any other person, observationally I do notice that manners are decreasing and selfish materialism seem to be on the rise. Many teachings I understand on an intellectual level, but there's sometimes a brain-action disconnect. And quite honestly, if I didn't think my belief system (Buddhism) was superior, I would be doing something else. I don't think anyone thinks their system is lesser to others. But my issues with the Christian faith are often writ very large by the folks with whom I deal daily, both co-worker and customer.
No, I don't think I'm in the profession I should be in. But, over the years, retail has kind of just happened, while I was in school, and working toward other things. And it's been relatively easy to get a retail job, and climb the management ladder, at least up until now. My dream job would be working with animals, or in a library or bookstore, but opportunities in those areas are a bit thin on the ground, here. I would like to relocate, but again, at the moment, that's not really an option either. Someday, sure.
I am also trying to learn the lessons that I need to learn, where I am. I do not believe in coincidence, at all, and believe that I am where I am, for some purpose. And maybe some of the learning is also being accomplished by those with whom I interact. Learning isn't a one-way street.
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A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[Rich999]

I think you're in danger of loosing your perspective, with using words like superior and relocate! All that matters is the now, the present, this moment. So it really doesn't matter where you are! What you're doing is important, because in a Buddhist sense, it's how you do it. The most menial tasks can be done with dignity and humility. If you bring a smile to your customers' faces, then you have done your job well. Not all will smile at your calm and pleasant manner, but some will. It is so important to be calm, as was the purpose at start of this thread, because when you are calm you can achieve so much more!
_________________
"Everything you say and do is like a pebble thrown into a pond and you have no control over the rippling effect it has on others!" - Tim Blake

[WuMing426]

And I think you're getting all exercised about a little conversation among friends. One of the reasons I would like to relocate is to be closer to a Dharma center. I don't get the chance to be with the real-life Sangha nearly enough. It would be very nice to be able to live, work and practice within a reasonable distance.
And the point about feeling the path we have chosen to be the best one, at least for ourselves, is still valid. Otherwise, we'd all be Christian or Jewish or Hindu, or whatever we felt best met our needs and goals. No one ever says, "well yes, I'm Christian, but I think those Hindus have it right. But I'll stay right here, even though I think their way is better."
That's the point I was trying to make. I'm sorry you had to get so lathered up about it.
_________________
A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[WuMing426]

So, just an update. Today I made it the whole day, without having to run the 'translation program.' I have been (so far) successful in doing my morning Refuge prayers and prostrations, even when I didn't feel like doing them. Today wasn't quite as hectic, yet still busy. But I managed to keep it together, never got disgusted or really simmering angry or anything.
So, that's good! Right?
_________________
A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[Tamara]

Sounds good, Diane !

Tamara

[rudyh01]

Fantastic! And don't forget to rejoice in your own experience/practice
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Love & clear light,
Rudy

[WuMing426]

I've been reading Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche's book "Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness." What a great, pithy read. He said in one spot, "give yourself a break." I guess I needed to see that. So full of Judeo-Christian guilt, and it's an old habit to see my faults instead of the wins.
_________________
A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[lost galaxy]

Hi unkempt,

You can have my compassion. I'm a translator/writer too and I know your problem.

Seriously, have you ever involved in some sort of child abortion?

As to the tendency to blame our parents, I can relate to it. There's a defilement in our mind that's responsible for it. It's one of the Maras, called by Tibetans "the child of the gods".

The first of these, Devaputramara, the mara that is the child of the gods, refers not to some kind of external demonic force but primarily to your own great attachment and great craving. See link http://www.khandro.net/doctrine_four_maras.htm

This over-dependence results in attachment. And when things are bad we tend to blame our parents much more than they deserve.

The buddha Gotama's father was not a religious man at all. He even tried to block the heir prince from his spiritual path. So in terms of spiritual heritage, the Buddha's was a minus rather than plus. But his personal stored merits were huge enough to overturn it.

Believe in your will. There's chance that you get out of their beaten track. Maybe the first step is NOW.

Good luck to you and with loving kindness.

LG
brahmasretinue@gmail.com
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For a fresh experience of the suttas http://pearls0wisdom.wordpress.com