A View on Buddhism

[WuMing426]

I was taken from my biological mother at the hospital, and placed in foster care for the first 5 weeks of my life. To this day, I have a kind of unsettling ability to turn on a dime, relationship-wise, and just go a in a new direction, with no real regrets. Some psychologists call it attachment disorder. I tend not to mourn personal losses, but just move on to the next thing. (Not true with my animals, though.) I know it's not healthy, in that the grief comes out in other ways, most of them inappropriate. I've done better with that, in later years, but it's still something of an issue.
I do, however, have an almost fanatical loyalty to my parents. In a way, they rescued me, like I do with the cats.
Drs Freud, Jung, any thoughts?
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A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[matt]

Actually Dianne, you're one of my heros. That was true before I learned this new thing about you. That's about all that comes to mind at the moment.
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[weaver]

[matt]

Ah Jeez, somebody always has to bring up the Waltons...

Good Night Johnboy.
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[weaver]

Yeah, Matt....You know what is worse? Another favorite show is the old Twilight Zone where Art Carney becomes Santa

So I do have some compassion. It's just tied up somewhere in old black and white TV shows

Steve

[matt]

I find that fascinating, and insightful. It's always tied up somewhere, but not permanently. Before color there was black and white, then radio, telegraph, letters, smoke signals, drums...
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[WuMing426]

[matt]

I don't know Dianne, we all need heros, your'e one of mine.

So this latest avatar is from my series, Unused Gods Reign in Kingdoms of the Heart, This is Zeus. He's in a recliner, holding the remote.

I guess it's your quiet steady presence, the feeling I get from you, strong Earth element, and your rescuing and caring for the cats...

Is that enough?
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[WuMing426]

I can relate to the avatar. Now, if we can get him a mouse and an adult beverage . . . .
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A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[matt]

Thanks, Dianne,

He's a couple years old. He looks a lot like a former assitant I had from the Lodge Hall I work at, the same guy was my mentor when I joined the Fraternity about three years ago. A very nice man. The likenss was an accident, I think. I had planned this piece for years, but it was interesting because the Masons are really into the Greeks. I used to make Unused Gods in more durable materials, but have them breaking up, eroding, so the mud seemed perfect, decided to revist this series with mud. So far I have done Zeus, and Apolo in mud. Then many years ago, Apolo and Mithra in Bronze, Dianna the Huntress in Fiberglass, and Venus and Hermes in Bronze.
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[rudyh01]

In addition to the discussion on the Shadow; just came across this quote. It mentions tantra all the time, but I think it is true in a much more general way.

[matt]

Brilliant Rudy, Thank you. That was exactly what I have been trying to say. My theory is that it is very natural to see what appear to be faults in others first, then we can bring the "teaching" home and apply it to ourselves, that's where the real bennifit lies.

I also get a black or white feeling from Tom's attitude toward himself. Another way of saying it is all or nothing thinking. This is said to be a symptom/cause of chronic depression. Buddha taught a middle path. Language can more easily support either opposite extreme. Our true measure is always nonconceptual, we find it between the extreme polar self descriptions.

Tom, one of the things I think you may have to deal with is an ineffective primary affection at a very early age. This is tremendously difficult, and will take all the compassion you can muster for yourself to resolve. But at some point you may have to learn the difference between self nurturing and self pity. Love strengthens, love heals. Ultimately, your mind is indestructable, my friend.
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[matt]

Apolo from the same series.
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[beginners mind]

Well, with the black and white thinking "thing", I do it too - it is another nice little habit we learn as part of an anxiety disorder.

We see things either one way or the other - in extremes and have difficulty going down the middle way.

With us, it can tend to be all or nothing and it is totally destructive.

Say, if I said something in anger and shouted at someone even though they were rude for instance, instead of thinking that that behaviour was unskilfull, I would have thought that that meant I was really bad and that I should have to alter my whole person - that I was wrong and not the act.

All or nothing thinking tends to create depression and not the other way round and it is not hard to see why is it? Unfortunately, in this way, this is how we view others and we end up being very harsh toward them too.
We have no compassion for ourselves therefore no one else gets it either (idiot compassion is available in buckloads but only because we cannot psychologically distance ourselves from people).

Yes, Tom, you are very harsh towards yourself. I am all for self discipline
but that does not mean we do not have respect and empathy for ourselves.

We have our work cut out and it is so hard!!! But we are all mental anyway from one degree to another.

It sounds like you had it really tough as a child and you are still living from that same life script. It may have worked then, but does it now?

Were you loved and accepted? Just the way you were? Were you asked or told to modify your behaviour or emotions alot? Were you visible as a child? Were you seen and understood and did you feel understood?
Did you feel your parents thought you were good and did they practice what they preached? Were you allowed to express yourself freely?

It doesn't take much for some of us to end up emotionally repressed adults. Some kids suffer awful cruelty and crumble, others become stronger and their "spirit" is never crushed. We are all different with our karma package to carry about.

Do you know, most of the problems I have had have come from just not expressing emotion because as a kid I was taught not to.

It is not my mum's fault - that is how she was brought up.

Anyway, this is nothing to do with mum anymore- this is about me growing up.

I still have loads of issues Tom and can easily revert back to old but at least we are trying right? That takes courage (even if I do say so myself).

What ever you do is totally up to you - only you can decide.

Anyway, I keep saying it - what the hell do I know? I still have all this crap to get through which means I will probably never be enlightened in this life time. I have piled delusion upon delusion and even when I see through it I still don't stop! It is very annoying and I so wish I hadn't done all this.....(I am still working on anger )

This is what really hurts - I am 38 and I finally know what I like doing and what I would like to do but I think it is too late.......I am too old......or is this lazyness and I still don't want to accept complete and full responsibility because I am still scared! See what I mean! I think I still want someone to look after me and take care of me but........no one is coming.......eeeeek!

I'll have to do it myself then!
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“When you realise how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky”

Buddha

[matt]

This sculpture is from 2002. It is entitled "Projection," and can also be thought of as an abstract representaion of a turtle diety. It was one of my first pieces invloving "impermanent" materials, before I glomned onto mud. It is made of wood, paper and bees wax.

Although the peice is quite large, 10 feet in diameter, some of my professors noted it looks like a helmet.

Around this time Rinpoche talked about a turtle, who ferried "fifty some" people safely accross the ocean to enlightenment.

The transience of the materials is an important aspect of the work.
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I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.