A View on Buddhism

[Anastasia]

Hi Jahda,

It's so interesting to me that so many of us here, and those drawn to Buddhism in general, have suffered from terrible sadness, trauma, loss or fear. We seem to understand the healing nature of this practice.

Like Lisa, I too have suffered from derealization and depersonalization as part of an anxiety disorder. I was cured of my anxiety disorder (Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia) through the use of medication (Alprazolam) with CBT, followed by desensitization more than 20 years ago, 10 years before beginning to practice Buddhism. Buddhist practice has changed me far more than anything else ever did. It's one thing to not be phobic and quite another to be calm. Must say, Buddhist concepts frightened me before I got the derealization under control. Anyway, that's my story, we've all got one, it seems.

I just checked the Indexes of a number of books I have on Buddhist psychology and could find no mention of dissociation, derealization or depersonalization. I'm surprised. I read them all long ago so cannot recall what they had to say on the subject. I checked two of Mark Epstein's books, "Thoughts Without a Thinker" and "Psychotherapy Without a Self", and Carolyn Brazier's "Buddhist Psychology ~ Liberate Your Mind, Embrace Life." Carolyn is David's wife. I'm wonderfing if Mark Epstein's "Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart" might have something. (I'm going to go Google brb)

Well, since I was buying and reading books on the subject there is soooo much more. I wonder if Kabat-Zinn has written anything about PTSD and Buddhist psychology. Also, some of the people I mention above may have as my books are not new.

I noticed, during my google, that there is a conversation under way at E-Sangha regarding this. I can't remember my E-Sangha user name or I would have checked it out. I think it is an interesting avenue of inquiry and I'm sure there is information out there. I'll let you know if I come across anything in the future.

Yes, that is my little dog and he is exactly as he looks. He is the very soul of gentleness. I am very fortunate to live with such a creature - I can only conclude I did something good at some point in another life.

with much metta to your good self (and your good non-self, too,
Anastasia
_________________
Smile, breathe, go slowly ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

[Jahda]

Hi Lisa,

Thank you so much for your kind offer to listen (that was so generous of you) and your reading suggestions, I will check them out. I am just starting with Jack Kornfield’s latest book The Wise Heart and really appreciate how he lays out the fundamentals of Buddhist Psychology. Apparently he too suffered from an abusive childhood (I had not known this before), and so his view on things has become even more meaningful to me. I’ve heard of Pema Chodron, though have not read any of her books yet, but she is on the (ever-growing) list. I have not heard of the others you mention so am excited to look into them!

I’m so sorry to hear that you suffered with dissociation and anxiety too... What a relief that you found your way out of it, or out of the fear of it. For awhile I thought that the dissociation/depersonalization/derealization was a help to me too, but after some serious research (compulsive research addict here) I am beginning to question that assumption, at least for me. Still, each of our experiences is different and of a different degree so it really all depends on individual experience and I am so glad to hear that it helps you in your practice.

No, I would not swap places with a lottery winner either (except on bill-paying day I might consider it) but being in the pit of despair does force us into new realms of understanding reality so in that respect I am grateful for the karma that has led me into this pit as tortuous as it is…

Take care and thank you so much again… My journey has been a bit lonely lately so it is good to find others with similar issues who have found the Buddhist path!



Namaste


Jahda
_________________
To study the Way is to study the self.
To study the self is to forget the self.
To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.
To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between one's self and others.

Dogen

[Jahda]

Hi Anastasia,

I am so happy to hear that you cured your anxiety disorder! I hope to be able to say the same thing someday…

Yes, it is interesting how those of us who have suffered greatly are drawn to Buddhism, though I suppose it makes sense in that Buddhism is essentially about the cause and cessation of suffering and so when suffering becomes too great to bear we search for a pathway out of it…

Thank you for googling for me. I’ve spent endless hours searching for a connection with dissociative disorders and Buddhism...the connection seems obvious to me though apparently not to others as I just can’t seem to find much of anything. I am continually frustrated in the support groups I am in online for DID as so many seem to take refuge in wishing the death penalty and other sorts of revenge on their abusers. For me, I just want to heal and study Buddhism and maybe find a Buddhist DID group at some point (though I’m beginning to think maybe DID doesn’t exist in Buddhist Psychology which would explain why I can’t find one?) At any rate I am happy to be here with all of you!

You have an incredible library of books! I have some of Mark Epstein though have not read him yet (I've been listening more to audiobooks lately for some reason...) Which one of his books would you suggest I start with? Is Psychotherapy Without a Self good? I bought that for my therapist and myself for Xmas but am not sure if he has read it yet or not.

Thanks again for all of your help! I looked on E-Sangha for that thread you mentioned but can’t seem to find it, but no matter, maybe we will get one going here at some point?


Namaste


Jahda
_________________
To study the Way is to study the self.
To study the self is to forget the self.
To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.
To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between one's self and others.

Dogen

[matt]

Hey Jahda,

I often stress that we cause our own suffering, and from the view of karma that could be considered true even in childhood, but you have to recognise that you expereinced a lot of trauma as a child and have a lot of compassion for yourself then and now.

All of the painful experiences and suffering can be transformed into something positive for yourself and eventually others. The path we take and the practices we eventually find are a little different for each of us. If you put the thought out that this is what you want, you will find it.
_________________
I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[Jahda]

Thanks Matt! I totally agree with you about how important
self-compassion is. Because of my abusive upbringing, I tend to be filled with self-loathing rather than self-compassion but
am working on this in therapy....
and working...

and working...

and working...
_________________
To study the Way is to study the self.
To study the self is to forget the self.
To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.
To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between one's self and others.

Dogen

[matt]

Excelent! Please keep up the good work.
_________________
I want to be more compassionate, humbel and loving.

[Jahda]

(this is such a great emoticon, thanks for giving me the chance to use it!!! )
_________________
To study the Way is to study the self.
To study the self is to forget the self.
To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.
To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between one's self and others.

Dogen

[Gary]

NAME: Gary
LOCATION: Ireland
AGE: 28
HEIGHT: 5'7
WEIGHT: 65 kgs
HAIR: Short, dark brown
EYES: Greenish/brown
LIKES: Too many things to list! Nature most of all I suppose
DISLIKES: A whole lot of attributes that could all be summed up as "inconsideration"
BOOKS: The only books I've read since leaving school have been Buddhist
CURRENTLY READING: How to Practice The Way to a Meaningful Life, The Monk and the Philosopher
MUSIC: A massive variety
FAVOURITE FOOD: All of it!
FAVOURITE COLOUR: Blue
FAVOURITE ANIMAL: Fish
SAYING OF THE MOMENT: Do you know what I mean?
_________________
Oneness is reality.
Oneness perceived is duality.
Duality is illusion.
Oneness perceived is illusion.

[Dove]

I joined yesterday. Sorry I haven't had time to write my profile notes yet.
Can I just ask a quick question -
Why do some people put 'la' after a person's name when they are replying to them?
Sorry I am so ignorant! But I want to learn so that's the main thing.
Dove (in Scotland)
PS Anybody else in Scotland?

[WuMing426]

Hi Dove, and welcome!
The '-la' is a sort of honorific used mostly in the Tibetan traditions. It's sort of a way of respecting and recognizing another on the path.
_________________
A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb

[Dove]

Thank-you, WuMing-la.
That is a very nice idea.
I like both your signature quotes!
So would my feline, Grace.
I am very happy to have found this forum.
Dove.

[Gary]

Welcome Dove, nice to have you
_________________
Oneness is reality.
Oneness perceived is duality.
Duality is illusion.
Oneness perceived is illusion.

[unkempt]

Hi,

NAME: Ondrej
LOCATION: Jilove, Czech Republic
AGE: 40, last time I checked :-)
HEIGHT: 5,10
WEIGHT: 200 pounds (I wish I didn't check)
HAIR: dark brown
EYES: brown
LIKES: good fun, reading, volley-ball, table tennis, linguistics, philosophy, biology,
DISLIKES: anything that makes man weak, mean and evil
BOOKS: too many for one lifetime, from Richard Feynman to Forsyth and van Gullik,
CURRENTLY READING: The National Geographic
MUSIC: Joan Baez, Enya, Vivaldi, Manu Chao, Gregorian Chants, medieval music
FAVOURITE FOOD: good
FAVOURITE COLOUR: dark sunset blue
FAVOURITE ANIMAL: sea otter
SAYING OF THE MOMENT: ???
_________________
Not Yet There

[Jahda]

Hi unkempt and to the forum!!
_________________
To study the Way is to study the self.
To study the self is to forget the self.
To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.
To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between one's self and others.

Dogen

[WuMing426]

Welcome, unkempt! I hope you find this place as welcoming as I have, lo these 3 or so years. I'm sort of the resident cat lady.
_________________
A society will be judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members- the animals. -Gandhi
Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay. -Matthew Flickstein
One who hates the feline is one not to be trusted.- Chinese proverb